I feel lost... Lately I feel like I'm living in a grown up world that I'm too immature for and other times I feel like I'm stuck in a teenage, high school, little kid world that I'm too mature for.I really want to be mature enough for the grown up world that I'm supposed to be in but I'm too behind on certain things and I'm stuck right where I don't want to be, in a dead beat job and still not back in school! I wish I could catch up on things much faster than I am, I know it's not possible and I shouldn't want time to go faster than normal but I don't care, I'm too anxious.
Now there is this other world that I'm so willing to remove myself from but it seems impossible. This immature, high school world where everyone talks crap on everyone and nothing seems to get resolved. I know I used to love to be in this world but I just can't take it anymore. It does things to my stomach that I didn't think were possible. I just feel so annoyed when I'm in this place. All I hear is whispering, gossiping, and irrelevant conversations. I know some of you think I'm acting weird lately and it's nothing to do with any of you, I just feel like escaping!
If only there was a happy medium between both worlds, but there isn't. It's one or the other. I think it's going to take a little while to jump completely into the grown up world but that's really where I want to be. If I just up and left the drama filled world I wouldn't be helping myself out much. So in the end, like everything else, my situation is going to take some time to fix, unfortunately. I hate time! I wish I could speed it up or slow it down whenever I pleased. Anyway, back to the anxiety filled day.. Nothing resolved like usual.. Atleast I feel some what better, or do I??
Ahhh brookey!
ReplyDeleteLife sucks. I want to just get away too.. I feel like im 23 and have nothing to show for it! I quit school, have debt, and feel like im goin nowhere sometimes! I hate when people ask whats new, or what ive been up to and all I can say is "work". I wish I could just have a career or be married and have babies! haha It sucks feeling like that, "were adults, when did that happen?" haha I soo just quoted greys anatomy! Anywho.. your smart, and gorgeous, have a cute BF that loves you, and have your own place.. your soo susy homemaker.. I love it! Eventually.. even tho it seems forever sometimes, things will all fall into place.. damn, I should listen to myself sometimes! haha Smile! ;)
Oh Brooke! You are so sweet. You know what is very grown up? Recognizing what you just did and wanting to do something about it. I know what you mean. I felt this way when I turned 20 I think. When I finally did take that leap from one world to the other it was scary but so great! I've never regretted it. I do not claim to be so mature. I feel like I have met that happy medium. When it really matters or is appropriate I am mature and grown up. But I will always be a child at heart. As far as gossiping, it's hard not to once in awhile but to do your best to not participate is what matters. I am so not trying to lecture you at all :-) Just giving my experiences and thoughts. You have a good heart and you just need to know that! Love you!
ReplyDeletehey woman... uh whats up call me hun! i know the exact things alot!! i love you chin up chest out guide,guide lol
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. I'm not sure what you mean by growing up. If you mean taking that next step and getting married....um it doesn't change things and kids just make it even harder! But I dont think thats what you mean. But I wish I could have stayed young in the gossip stuff and doing whatever I wanted when I pleased! But I am still happy with my family! I just wish I wouldnt have had to grow up so fast!!! I remember when I was a young little girl and teenager I just wanted to be grown up and have a job and have babies and be able to pay my own bills now I am thinking WOW if only I knew what all that meant! haha. My daughter already tells me she wants to be grown up and big like me! She cries when I tell her shes has to stay small!!! But anyway back to you I think the thing to get away from gossiping is to hang out with married people or couples and not do the partying thing like that involves single young people!! Cause thats what there all about!!! But anyways ur awesome and I think you seem to be doing good! Thats awesome that you and Zack have your own place looks like you take good care of him!!! Things will get better just sounds like your in a Rutt!
ReplyDeleteIm glad you decided to start a blog now we can keep in touch better and know how each others lives are going!! The grown up world isnt much fun. But I do like the freedoms and getting to decide things for yourself! Your new place is cute! Keep in touch!
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